Aspirations and Reality

My son is a very bright kid. Learning just about anything has always been very easy for him. He has always made straight As. He attends a “school of choice” or magnet program in our city. He always scores in the top 3-5% nationally on standardized testing. Although he does well in everything and loves to read, he especially excels in math and science.

Because of all of these factors, T aspires for him to go to MIT. (I think he dreams about it at night.) He has mentioned it on several occasions…. almost daily. My son’s room however, is decked out in orange and black. He has posters of football and basketball players from the school on his walls and orange and black blankets and pillows on his bed. A couple of weeks ago, I had a conversation with G in the car on the way to watch a game. After that conversation with my son, I told my husband that he might as well give up. (I guess the orange and black room didn’t tip him off.)

We had to drive to a friend’s house to watch the football game. My son was beside himself because we were most likely going to miss kick off.

I said, “G settle down. If we miss it, we just miss it. It’s just kick off. We’ll be there right after for the entire rest of the game.” This, however, merely agitated him more.

“Mom, are you really a true fan, because I don’t think you are!” he said.

“Yes, G. I am a true fan, but I don’t think missing kick off is the end of the world.”

G said (yelling this time, although I don’t think he realized he was yelling-he was just extremely agitated.)“No Mom! I don’t think you really are a true fan! I mean, do you bleed orange and black, because I bleed orange and black!!!!”

Some Random Thoughts

Many, many things have been happening at The House of Marcie, but the thought of blogging about each individually makes me want to not even try to blog at all. So here they are:

1. I think I like my hair better straight, for now at least. I'm so glad my daughter introduced me to the flat iron she got for her birthday. It's incredible how much smaller my head looks when my hair is straight.

2. T signed a contract. Yea!!! He has a job when Hell ends in June.

3. It made me sad that G & C didn't Trick-or-Treat this year. I feel like they are slipping away too quickly. (Ugh! I sound like my mother!) On the up side, I was really proud that they both chose to volunteer at Neewollah at the church, on Halloween.

4. Several times lately something someone has done has reminded me of Granny. I've cried every time. I miss her terribly.

5. My dog Katie is not doing well. She is having a very difficult time walking at all. I'm afraid to take her to the vet. I don't want him to tell me what I already know.

6. T rearranged the rooms in the house AGAIN! I can't let the man have any free time! The girls are back to sharing a room. We'll see how long that lasts.

7. I want to go on a vacation without my family. Not for long, but definitely without them. I need to track down the shop that sells sanity--it seems someone has stolen mine.

8. I believe that if I cook and serve dinner, someone else should clean it up!! I don't think that's unreasonable! ( I dare you to disagree with me.)

Outside the Fishbowl

I’ve lived most of my life feeling as though I were on the outside looking in. It’s like I’m looking in a fishbowl. I can see all the sparkly baubles and the exotic looking hangouts. And I can see the ones that live inside there. They all look so happy. They laugh and talk and spend time together. They take turns hosting parties where all the others ones who live inside can come and partake.

For a long time I’ve tried my best to figure out how to get inside that bowl. I’ve walked around the circle, looking for the entrance to no avail. I’ve tried to climb the sides, but they were too slippery, and I fell down. I’ve tapped the glass, trying to get the attention of someone, anyone, who could tell me how to get inside. People would come and look at me, and wave and smile. They would say how very wonderful it was to be inside, and how wonderful all the parties were, and how beautiful everything was, and how extraordinary all the people were, and how very lucky they were to be there. I’d listen intently, my excitement growing. When they would finish speaking, and it was my turn to speak, I'd congratulate and assure them that, yes, they were so very lucky to live inside. And then I’d ask how I could get in there and share in the fabulous life, and they couldn’t understand what I was saying. They would look at me as if I had started speaking a different language. Other times, they suddenly couldn’t hear me at all. They would turn and walk away, smiling as they went to see all of the other great people who lived inside with them. I would yell, “Wait! Come back! How can I get in?” But they never heard me. I would pound my fists into the glass wall yelling for them to come back, but they never turned around.

Finally, I gave up. I sat down beside the wall and cried. Why? Why was I the only one who couldn’t get inside? Why did I have to spend my life alone, only watching all of the fun from the outside? And then, one day, I looked up and noticed someone standing beside me, looking down. She smiled and held out her hand to me. I took it and stood up, and for the first time, realized that there were many, many people outside the bowl. It was astonishing! I looked around and saw lots of exciting places. I saw people going to fun parties together! They were having fun and they didn’t even live inside the glass! I relaxed. I began to smile and walk around with my friend. I started to have fun.

So, after living on the outside my whole life, I finally decided the outside’s not such a bad place to be. I mean, who wants to live in a fishbowl anyway?

Conversation at a red light on the way to school

G: Quick Mom, stare at the people in the car next to us!

Me: What?

G: Stare at the people in the car next to us! It'll really freak them out!

Me: You are a freak.