Reproductive Confusion

Wow…my last blog was oh-so-cheery. Man, I am super fun.

I am so, so glad there is no school tomorrow. We’re barely back from Christmas break and I already need a break. How pathetic!

Ok right now I’m having a ridiculous struggle. My oldest will be 14 in just a couple of months. My youngest is 8. There is no way I want to have children that far apart, and yet…. Aaaahhh! What’s wrong with me? I have firmly dismissed the idea, had no desire to have any more children for several years. And suddenly, I have 4 pregnant friends. Now I’m feeling that familiar ache, that sad desire to be pregnant again. What the heck is wrong with me? T and I have never had a time in our marriage without children. We treasure time alone with one another. We look forward to the days when we will be free to do as we please. And here I am with this strange desire to be pregnant again. Ugh!

Now, luckily (I think) there is no way on earth (or anywhere else) that Tobey could possibly be convinced that we need another child. And as that makes me happy on one level, I am crushed on another. What the heck? I don’t get it. Being female is the most confusing thing. I'm really sorry fellas. If we can't figure ourselves out, I have no idea how you are supposed to.